We love Rock 'n' Roll, but we play Blues!
The Kingsize Boogiemen was founded in… actually, none of us can really remember when it was. We’re just a bunch of cheeky louts competing to see how can down the last drink on the table and just generally disturbing the peace.
They say they play The Blues… Right! But was Muddy Waters or Big Walter Horton? Walter Jacobs alias Little Walter? Jimmy Hendrix, John Lee “I dont give a shit about notes or lyrics I just play The Blues” Hooker? Stevie Ray Vaughn? Willie Dixon the Hoochie Coochie man? What do these gentlemen have to about The Blues? Nothing… They're all dead.
Frontman/ Backman Stanislav alias Morlor is an extremely dangerous and evil person. He doesn’t hesitate to crush an audience member with a withering remark or attack a delicate and shy human soul. On stage, he frowns while singing and playing the harmonica; the listener has the impression that his presence discourages more playing. Between tunes, he asks the other members of the band what key the next song will be in thinking that they might know. The tendency to turn his back to the audience and hide himself has nothing to do with a fear of public performance; he’s just trying to survive. Instead of singing he often cries, instead of playing the harmonica he often just honks on it.
The guitarist’s name can be qualified as "an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, surrounded by mystery". So watch out! He continues Americanizing current Czech chat slang with such phrases as: "Jeach!", "Wow", "Bitch", and worse. He steals the drummer’s grandfather’s bike, emptys his friend´s refrigerators after crashing on their floors after gigs, steals beer mugs, tries go get nasty with any woman of any quality an/or d appearance; sometimes even while "playing" the guitar. Breaking six or more strings during one hour show is considered normal. Shockingly, his bandmates put up with this bullshit. Sometimes they even approve and praise him for his perverse rampages; occaasionally they help. This monster even breaks strings on his Amistar steel guitar.
Drums in the above-mentioned "band" are hadled by the extremely healthy and tireless Martin, who, despite almost constant physical abuse, frightens all Czech and some foreign colleagues. His physical appearace is reminiscent of a Somali woman after childbirth. When he performs, he exudes a confusing aura; he causies people to think it’s from fireworks or camera flashes of cameras. The negative characteristics of this weird guy are - drinking, gambling (which is isn’t good at) and a dependence on corporate parties…
The only exception regarding the rotten and lazy nature of the participants in this "musical project", is perhaps the Holy bassist Miroslav. His is called the Characterless Bassis to illustrate his strong ethics and great spirit. His technique is breathtaking. Women are especially crazy about him when he performs. It is only his long and thinning hair that gives him away betrays his impression of trustworthiness and spitual piety, much to the chagrin of the Archdiocese of Prague.
Cooperating with this band can not be recommended to anyone, or anything.